Hello my name is Proxi , well that’s what my name might as be. I've felt more connected to this title since i was young. I guess along time ago it would've been easier just say it was Chris sure its normal and sounds cute but no longer do I want that name connected to my birth certificate . The sooner I separate myself form it the sooner the horrible memories connected will be that memories.
But this is my story, i'm a Trans-gender girl from Missouri since I've came out I've felt better about myself. I am able to wake up and understand im closer to were i need to be to function. Since starting hormones i feel closer to being a girl. That makes me happy, very happy but, my life hasn't got any easier. Since this started, I've been picked on, beat up, threatened as an occasional tradition mistreated by even my own family. The, minute i left high school i thought that was all over, years of pain,being hurt psychically scared and emotionally traumatized for being different over and over.
Sorry if i sound like I'm bitching but i really want to express this is a real problem. Trans-gendering is a real issue. People don't take to kindly to the fact some people are in fact out of place. Don’t smile towards obscure. The first lesson I've ever learned cross dressing in public through the process was through boys and girl pointing and laughing. I didn't mean to scare anyone nor do wish any harm any, I wasn’t or at least didn’t intend to be a joke but the people around me just laughed, “Look at that boy he nasty”,”Bitch why he wearing a dress”, not only did they just do that but they did it then assembled. In groups they cackled .They thought it was funny. But not me I just ran as fast as i could. Hid sandwiching my self with in darkest shadow of two rotten trash cans. Buried my face between in my hands and bawled my eyes out i couldn't stop. I couldn't control the hot watering over flow. An as it leaked from my eyes, through my fingers then over my lips. A near by a near by man muttered in his broken abomination of English language words that sounded close to fagot truthfully I couldnt hear much over my disgusting cowl. But just instantly thought “not a fagot, a girl”. But to him and his laughing pals that lust for situations like my reaction said how they wanted to pass me from man to another with close fist followed by a kick. Eventually my girl friend at the time told them to shut up, got other friends to aid me so if they were going hurt me they have to get through 10 angst driven teenagers first.
But this is my story, i'm a Trans-gender girl from Missouri since I've came out I've felt better about myself. I am able to wake up and understand im closer to were i need to be to function. Since starting hormones i feel closer to being a girl. That makes me happy, very happy but, my life hasn't got any easier. Since this started, I've been picked on, beat up, threatened as an occasional tradition mistreated by even my own family. The, minute i left high school i thought that was all over, years of pain,being hurt psychically scared and emotionally traumatized for being different over and over.
Sorry if i sound like I'm bitching but i really want to express this is a real problem. Trans-gendering is a real issue. People don't take to kindly to the fact some people are in fact out of place. Don’t smile towards obscure. The first lesson I've ever learned cross dressing in public through the process was through boys and girl pointing and laughing. I didn't mean to scare anyone nor do wish any harm any, I wasn’t or at least didn’t intend to be a joke but the people around me just laughed, “Look at that boy he nasty”,”Bitch why he wearing a dress”, not only did they just do that but they did it then assembled. In groups they cackled .They thought it was funny. But not me I just ran as fast as i could. Hid sandwiching my self with in darkest shadow of two rotten trash cans. Buried my face between in my hands and bawled my eyes out i couldn't stop. I couldn't control the hot watering over flow. An as it leaked from my eyes, through my fingers then over my lips. A near by a near by man muttered in his broken abomination of English language words that sounded close to fagot truthfully I couldnt hear much over my disgusting cowl. But just instantly thought “not a fagot, a girl”. But to him and his laughing pals that lust for situations like my reaction said how they wanted to pass me from man to another with close fist followed by a kick. Eventually my girl friend at the time told them to shut up, got other friends to aid me so if they were going hurt me they have to get through 10 angst driven teenagers first.
But it was to late. I was already scared, I had a panicked and my social worker was on the phone to calm me down. That was my 1st experience back when I was just mere cross dresser in public. Its funny to know back then if I were alone and I happened to be killed. My death wouldn’t even be enough pay maturer in the war to the topic of situations like this being acknowledged as a hate crime. But what people are shocked to hear situations like mine happen every day and that wasn’t for me its still not only time.
Recently I had to “leave”my job. Thanks to a related issue but it gives me more time to work on projects like Vlogs,music and other thing. But Fucks up my HRT money and the saving for my surgery. Sigh an its been really hard getting a job since mostly cause no matter how I get down to it. My body is changing my thought process are shifting .I don’t, no cant want to put my self in situations where I'd have to belittle my self and be boy for money. Honestly I think I need to find a way to make money online, or do one of trashy trans-gender escort services I hate to say but being hooker might be the best option ugh...*Quivers*.. I'm starting to put donation tickers up to. Also sing for money until im able to get a replacement job.
Ether way im going to use this blog to support the Trans-gender community through youtube and this so it. If any one has any questions or need help on the trans-gendering process message me or send me a email at An0nPr0xi1@gmail.com i want post more but its 5 am i should go to bed
Recently I had to “leave”my job. Thanks to a related issue but it gives me more time to work on projects like Vlogs,music and other thing. But Fucks up my HRT money and the saving for my surgery. Sigh an its been really hard getting a job since mostly cause no matter how I get down to it. My body is changing my thought process are shifting .I don’t, no cant want to put my self in situations where I'd have to belittle my self and be boy for money. Honestly I think I need to find a way to make money online, or do one of trashy trans-gender escort services I hate to say but being hooker might be the best option ugh...*Quivers*.. I'm starting to put donation tickers up to. Also sing for money until im able to get a replacement job.
Ether way im going to use this blog to support the Trans-gender community through youtube and this so it. If any one has any questions or need help on the trans-gendering process message me or send me a email at An0nPr0xi1@gmail.com i want post more but its 5 am i should go to bed
